Why the Premier League Bores Me

Having previously discussed the decline of English football regarding the disastrous changes to the infamous FA Cup format, there is a similarly sour taste that continues into the various talking points of this article – in particular, the genuine lack of interest that I have, among many others I am sure, when watching or discussing premier league football. Whether this alludes to the excessive utilisation, and poor utilisation at that, of VAR and goal line technology, the financial obligations of the league, or even the football itself, the range of painstaking errors each year that damage the league’s reputation even further has become joke-worthy.  

To put it simply, what was once ‘the greatest competition in world football’ has become

an absolute bore Fest.  

Gone are the days of underdog stories alike Leicester City’s 2015/16 fantasy narrative. A story of the narrow avoiding of relegation to dizzying heights of the champions of England and European competitions. As nowadays the league’s competitors consist of two, perhaps three names, with the exact same club the victor each time: Manchester City. 

Manchester City, as much as their fanbase may disagree, have ruined football. With the sale of the club to Sheikh Mansour’s Abu Dabi group (ADUG) for over £200 million in 2008, it acted plainly as a catalyst for the ‘death of football’, though many, if not all football fans did not consider its extreme threat at the time.  

With the capabilities to spend hundreds of millions of pounds each window on the world’s elite talents, without any notable expenditure limits, Manchester City, eventually winning the league for the first time in 2012 (featuring the sensational ‘AGUERROOOOOO’ moment) snatching the title from Manchester United with the final kick of the season, ending years of Manchester United dominance. With this, the club’s ambitions shifted. From aims of a first title, to aims of matching the presence of Manchester United, the continued flow of finances into the transfer market heavily impacted the fluctuation of market values, and as a result of extreme overpayments on subpar, rotational options, we eventually saw the record-breaking sale of Neymar Jr; From Barcelona to PSG for a whopping £222 million. For comparison, prior to the sale of Man City in 2008, the club’s record fee was £12.8 million for Italian striker Rolando Bianchi in 2007. Just one year later, this was blown out of the water by the club’s purchase of Brazilian winger Robinho for £40 million.  

With the availability of building a world-dominating side, the next decade saw City manage to win a total of 6 titles in the last 7 seasons (soon to be 8 total), as a result of expensive recruitment habits. And with rival sides unable to match the available funds of their loud neighbours (though not as loud in their stadium), the gap between City and the rest of the Premier league continues to grow, never mind the EFL sides fighting to reach the premier league.  

There is absolutely no fun in the premier league debate anymore. The idea of ‘who wins the league this year?’ has been thrown out of the window, as there is just one team in contention each year now. No team can compete with the blue colours of Manchester, as the purchasing of their history (formerly a championship side for the majority of their existence may I add) has resulted in repeated dominance year after year.  

The fact that they completed the treble rubs salt into the wounds even more. Haaland, for instance, an absolute machine in front of goal, should have, easily, been taunted towards the Spanish giants Real Madrid or Barcelona, the homes of ‘Galactico's’ and world superstars for so long now, but the financial benefits of joining a side like Manchester City – winning title after title – results in extortionate wage demands, and transfer fees. In a world in which wages determine a player’s loyalty to a club, the sides with REAL history, are outweighed by the pull of the oil-owned and gas-funded money giants of world football.  

Having said that, even with the existence of Newcastle United in the premier league, a club even richer than that of Manchester City’s owners (somehow), Man City remain untouchable.  

Burdened with the shackles of FFP, the Newcastle superstars which led them to their first Champions League run out in over 25 years, may be forced out of the club to ensure FFP regulations are met. Having spent 15 years or so construction the foundations of their self-sustaining wonder team of the ages, Man City’s avoidance of certain punishment lay in accordance with failed recognition of their actions, until it had become too late of course. Whilst the Geordies have the funds to, completely, outspend that of Man City’s capabilities, they are unable to do so, with the almost omniscient premier league regulators constantly pecking at the actions of any club other than their beloved champions.  

Despite supposedly breaching over 115 FFP rules, City, with their handful of original fans, the rest of them plastic, sit unpunished. In the same season that has seen Everton fall victim to two separate point deductions, as with that of Nottingham Forest singular deduction, City remain on their high horse, bullying the lowly positioned sides, such as Sheffield United, or Luton. With a squad valued over £1 billion, spending a subtle £1.6 billion in the last 15 years, the corruption deep rooted into the Premier league board of directors cannot be overlooked.  

As Man City now sit amongst the top 6, there is also the notable fact that it is always the same sides occupying the top spots of the pyramid. Usually in the exact same positions. Klopp with his 2nd place merchant side. Pochettino’s Chelsea, though off the steam this season, usually in the top 4, alongside Manchester United. Tottenham, trophyless since the world was black and white, apparently still a notable side, as well as Arsenal, who have achieved absolutely nothing since their Invincibles side at the time of my birth. Who determines the idea of ‘big clubs? Because if it entitles the idea of trophies, Tottenham are in the wrong conversation, or perhaps European successes, in which case West Ham United are a bigger side than Arsenal. The “Big 6” are in essence a false, forced narrative, to maintain the happiness of the fanbases of sub-par clubs, with sub-par, plastic fanbases. Many of which I would put a pretty penny on the fact that they have rarely, if ever, even seen a match take place. They hog the top 6 spots as a result of their excessive TV coverage revenue than that of deserving sides alike Luton Town, who have driven their way from NON-LEAGUE to the heights of the premier league, just to be blatantly ignored following their promotion. For a good 3 months, Luton were the talk of the town, but as soon as the season started, they fell off the face of the Earth according to Sky Sports (which is an entirely different rant for another day), overshadowed by the ‘exhilarating’ race for Champions League football – a blatant lie. 

In a similar sense, the addition of another European competition in the Conference League completely revokes the idea of the ‘elite’ sides of the season. Whilst this is not exactly the actions of the premier league to criticise, it damages the league somewhat. There is no longer an idea of exclusivity to European competitions, as a club can finish near enough mid table in 7th place and still get into the Conference league for a sub-par finish. The idea that, this season, Manchester United are set for their lowest historical finish in the premier league, and can still accomplish a European place, is absolutely embarrassing.  

As for the other side of the table, there are no longer any risks involved when discussing the supposed ‘threat’ of relegation to premier league sides. The idea of a club getting relegated from the top division to the second tier in times been and gone, understandably, could be damaging. As seen with the Bradford City’s, the Sunderland's, the Bolton Wanderers,’ financial instability following relegation from the premier league has, in the past, resulted in quite significant downfalls from grace, not just from the top tier, but in the worst cases, into the lower leagues of the pyramid. Back-to-back relegations or worryingly small squad sizes as a result of panic selling, the prospect of relegation 15-20 years prior to now actually had threat tied to it. Nowadays? Far from it.  

If there is one thing that I would consider removing entirely from the league system, it is the absolute stupidity of ‘parachute payments.’ Whoever produced the idea is, in the most respectful way possible, idiotic.  

The entire purpose of the English pyramid format is to allow the clubs in the lower leagues, or any league by that standard, below the premier league, to attempt to reach the infamous heights of the first division. By introducing parachute payments, the gap between the premier league sides promoted, and relegated, enlarges in accordance with financial power.  

The result of parachute payments? The formation of yo-yo clubs. Relegated, promoted, relegated, promoted, etc. In the same way that one can predict the eventual winner of the premier league, in Man City’s dominance each year, the 3 eventual promoted clubs from the Championship, surprisingly, are almost always the three sides that dropped down from the top division the season prior. Your Norwich sides, your Fulham's, your Bournemouth's, etc, are each prime examples of yo-yo sides, climbing to and from the top of the ladder, and hardly, if ever faltering.  

In years been and gone, my favourite aspect of the premier league system has always been the intensity of relegation battles. Four or five clubs fighting for their position in the league the following season, scratching at the turf above the relegation zone, clawing to get out of it. But now? There is hardly anything to play for. Sure, the prospect of a premier league side gaining more money in ticket revenue, and shirt sales, is true. But how can a club complain about relegation, if they will be falling to a division, with a side capable of winning it three times consecutively, and sitting happily £40 million richer? It is blatantly disconcerting as a lower league club supporter.  

In order to regulate the smooth sailing of the league itself, the importance of semi-capable officials on, and off the field, is an essential aspect of the game of football. And whilst this may shock some, they are, surprisingly, trained at elite levels in preparation for the peak of football. Now, whilst this comes with no shock to the frankly embarrassing refereeing displays in lower league football, the fact that the quality of officiating in the premier league of English football is absolutely humiliating. As football fans, we have lost count now of all of the outrageous errors made by the refereeing officials on numerous occasions this season. And despite of the introduction of the VAR in the 2019/20 season, it seems that more errors are, somehow, being made now, than were made 5 years ago. Perhaps not more errors, but more significant errors, as with the availability of the technology, how can an individual mess up? Especially when supported by 4 VAR officials, 2 linesmen, and a fourth official. With regulations at the start of this season allowing more power the already power-hungry officials, each match is now lathered in card brandishing for petty crimes alike smiling at the referee or breathing in their general direction. Somehow bad challenges are overlooked, but priority, after all, remains to be the prevention of timewasting. Hence, a player can enter the book, for ‘timewasting’ in the first half, even when trailing. The way that a referee’s brain works can really be mindboggling. And it is here that the expected ‘ground-breaking’ introduction of VAR comes into play. 

Not only does VAR tarnish the game with its ridiculous errors, even with countless camera angles, but on occasion, when it is actually correct in its judgements, the sudden cancelation of goals, often important ones at that, are just painstaking to watch. Let’s take Coventry’s 120th minute winner against Manchester United in the FA Cup Semi-final earlier this month for instance, absolute limbs in Wembley, the belief of a Victor Torp winner ripped from the grasp of the players, the staff, and the thousands upon thousands of travelling fans, simply because a player’s boot size, or even toenails, were too long. If the game is defined by that small a margin, I do not want to watch it. And the same rule goes for goal line technology. Despite winning the game later into the match, Heung Min Son’s crossbar ricochet just half a centimetre over the goal line was supposedly enough to define whether the goal should or should not stand. It is embarrassing in all honesty. La Liga is arguably much more entertaining plainly for their lack of the use of goal line technology, and whilst I believe we should maintain the use of it, the leniency between what should and should not be a goal is borderline fraudulent.  

As for the football itself, there is just no need to watch any of the top 6 anymore. With the introduction of Pep Guardiola to world football as a manager, in the 3 leagues that he has worked within – the Bundesliga, La Liga, the Premier league – he has absolutely destroyed the traditional football styles of the nations. The birth of possession based, playing round the back, slow, building football, is mostly to blame, if not all to blame, on the entitled ‘genius’ adult cry-baby that is Guardiola. Guardiola formulated such a boring playstyle, that I have failed to watch a single Man City game for more than one half this season, because of how immorally dull it is to watch. Utter dominance of the opponent, usually 4-0 or more, there is just no reason to sit through it anymore.  

I acknowledge that this particular piece has become to some extent lengthy, and I thoroughly appreciate all that have read from start to finish, or any at all for that matter. I feel it key to note that these are my own individual opinions on the league’s supposed “development,” and in all honesty, I could certainly keep going, so I would absolutely encourage the opinions of those who have read this for any future writings.